I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
