Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Randomize
