this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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