He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
