I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
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