What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
