I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
