I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Randomize
