This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
