The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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