So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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