Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Randomize
