so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
