sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
