the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
