Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
