Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
vagina is talking i cant
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
