whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
