Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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