You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I wish there were birth control emojis
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
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