I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
