I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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