So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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