loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
