Grow some girl-balls and come out already
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
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