How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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