does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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