am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize