Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
