But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Randomize
