if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize