I murdered the dance floor call the cops
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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