but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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