69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
