I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
