If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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