Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
