You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
