she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
