I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
