Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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