Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
