So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
