I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Welp...herpes.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
try to milk me bitch
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