is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
