i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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