Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
