Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
