Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
