so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Randomize
