Will you blow on my dice?
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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