how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
