YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
