Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize