Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Edward fifth and chaser hands
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
