I wish I could punch you in the face.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
