all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
