i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
