I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
