it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
